Eight tips for Parents to help kids deal with bullying at School

Bullying in the Philippines is real. Now the big question is: Is your kid prepared to deal with it?

FACT: Bullying in the Philippines is real, and is your kid prepared to deal with it.

One of the most stressful things about parenting is knowing that you cannot protect your kids forever. They will grow up, they will meet new people, and they will encounter bullies in their schools in the Philippines.

As a Dad blogger in the Philippines, I hate bullying and seriously think that parents who tolerate such behavior should have serious parenting sessions. But since we cannot really do anything about other, we need to make sure we equip our kids enough to face bullies.

So what are my tips to handle bullying at school.

We must teach our kids that bullies do exist.

We must explain to our kids at a very young age that there are good people and bad people. Not everyone is a family member who will support them and will be nice to them. There are bullies who will hurt, harm, and cause trouble - and they are part of life. We do not shield our kids from the realities of life, but we should expose them to it.

Encourage your child to walk away from the bully when possible.

The first step in helping your child avoid bullying is to teach them how to walk away from conflict. You can do this by pointing out when they're getting into a situation where they might get bullied and advising them on how to avoid it.

You'll also want to teach them how not only to tell an adult when they are being bullied but how to respond if the bully isn't backing down or even if the adult who is called in isn't very helpful (as sometimes happens).

Finally, you want your child to know that if things get really bad, there's always another option: ignoring what's going on around them until it passes and/or leaving for somewhere else entirely (a friend's house or playground).

Your kid must know how to avoid certain situations and scenarios where conflict may occur.

Second, help your child learn how to communicate assertively - without resorting to violence.

The next step is to teach your child how to say “No” and mean it. You can help by pointing out situations where they might need to say no: when someone tries to force them into doing something, for example, or when someone asks for a favor that's too much work for them.

Another thing you can do is encourage your kids to use their words when they feel uncomfortable with something. Teach them not only how to communicate assertively—that is, in a way that respects themselves and others—but also why this matters so much at school. For example, saying “I don't like that” allows everyone involved in the situation (including other kids) an opportunity to see that you don't have to say yes to a bully anytime. This in turn can create allies.

Third, teach your child to stick up for others who are being bullied.

Teach your child to be a good friend. Your kid needs to know what it means to be friends with others, and how to treat and respect the people in their lives. This can help them stick up for others who may be being bullied by teaching them how they would want to be treated if they were on the receiving end of other people's words or actions.

Teach your child to protect others. You can have this discussion at any age, but as you get into middle school and high school, it's important for kids to understand that standing up against bullying not only makes you feel better about yourself (and your own self-worth), but it also helps the person being targeted feel better about themselves too!

Fourth, help your child develop a support system of friends and trusted adults at school so that he or she doesn't have to face bullies alone.

It's important that your child have a support system of trusted adults at school and at home. These people should be willing to listen, give advice, and help your child deal with difficult situations. In addition to friends who can lend support when needed, these individuals may include teachers or other school staff members.

Teach your kids to find good friends that can be their support system at school. Then get to know these friends personally, and get to interact with their parents.

Fifth, if someone is bullying your child, be sure your child knows how to report it.

For children who are being bullied, it's important to know how to report the incident. When you talk with your child about how to handle bullying, be sure to cover what steps he or she should take if a situation occurs.

If your child is the person being bullied:

• Tell an adult at school (teacher, principal or counselor) as soon as possible.

• Keep a record of all incidents and dates in case it becomes necessary later on.

• If it continues after talking with an adult at school, contact your local police department for advice on how best to proceed.

• Instill in your kid that they should think through situations logically and not be too emotional if possible.

Sixth, Teach your kids to fend for themselves.

Being the wimpy kid makes one an easy target, it is up to us parents to encourage them to take self-defense classes, have some sort of physical activity, or at least enroll in some sport that will allow them to move and take some hits. Our kids cannot hide all the time, so it's best that they have enough confidence to defend themselves and then run afterward. If we raise wimps for kids, then, we did nothing to help as parents.

If indeed our kids are not strong on the physical side, then we make sure that their mental prowess is superb. We should instill confidence, and give them facts that bullies are idiots that that can handle if they think and act properly.

Seventh, Help your kids become confident by being there.

You should be the first person that your kids think of when they are in trouble. Your home should be their secure place. They should be confident that even with no one talking to them at school, they have a good home that will supply their emotional needs.

If we instill confidence as parents, then they will be stronger and better children. They will open up to us if there indeed is a problem that they cannot handle. They will always trust us IF we earn it.

Eight, Know the situation at school and with Friends.

Do not be a stupid parent who does not go to school, talk to teachers, and is clueless about how their kids are. Being a parent takes a lot of hard work, talking to your kid, of being involved in their schools and with their friends. The more you know, the more you can help your kid - or at least make them feel that you are watching out for them.

If all else fails then change schools.

This is not running away, but sometimes, when bullies persist, it is better to give your kids the peace of mind that they deserve. Ask them if they can deal with it, if they cannot then do something about it.

Conclusion

As we’ve seen, bullying is a widespread problem. And while most kids can cope with it, many are still affected by it and need help from adults. Your child may feel overwhelmed or confused by this topic, but by teaching them how to communicate assertively without resorting violence or retaliation, you can give them the tools they need to stand up for themselves against bullies.

Lastly, IF you do not provide the emotional support, help them be physically strong, earn their trust, and get involved from the start - then you have not laid the proper foundations to help them deal with bullying in the future.